Mr. Darcy: So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty…
Elizabeth Bennet: My pride?
Mr. Darcy: …in admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?
Elizabeth Bennet: And those are the words of a gentleman. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.
[they look at each other for a long time as though about to kiss]
Mr. Darcy: Forgive me, madam, for taking up so much of your time.
Nope, in case you’re wondering, I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice. Which I should.
But that’s not the point. The point is, lately I’ve been rejecting the advances of a self-acclaimed multimillionaire casanova on Facebook. I would usually relish in any form of attention given to me, opposite sex or otherwise, but this prick happened to get on my nerves. He changes his women like toilet paper: take a dump with a whole roll of them, and flush them down the toilet bowl after wiping his ass with it. To be seen together with him? I’d rather die.
But then, he started offering money. Plain, hard, cold, cash; in return for a date. And ever since I had to extend my studies by another semester, no thanks to killjoy MMU, coupled with the fact that my loan has expired, I’m pretty short on money, as of now. Which got me thinking, what will it take to set aside your wounded pride and just take the money?
Pride? You have none. You’re the black sheep of the family; the sooner you graduate, the better. All of your friends are working already.
Your parents? They won’t have to know about this. You’ll just tell them that this was the last loan.
Your boyfriend? He’ll surely understand. It’s not like you’re selling your body or anything, just a goddamn date. You’ve been to movies with your male friends before. Or maybe he can watch over you from a distance.
Dignity. Aaaah, yes. That was it. Everyone lives by a set of principles, mine is: money is not an aphrodisiac; take what you can, but don’t live by it. I have a pair of hands, and with them I shape my own future, but I will not sink to the level of whores and sluts. I will not.
